Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
