the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
