She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize