She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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