goodnight i made you a song goodbye
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
