seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
