Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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