went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I think my moral compass just broke
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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