Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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