True but thats because hes a fetus.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
