yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
