whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
