Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
