I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
What changed your mind?
Being sober
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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