TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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