If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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