Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
