So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
