Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
