I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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