I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
