sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
