he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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