I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
