Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
