I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The power of my boobs compel you
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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