So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
