i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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