I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
How external is "for external use only"?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
