i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
