My first STD was from a foam party
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
