the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
