He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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