so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
