Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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