Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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