I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Farmville is her only friend.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
