She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
