If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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