Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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