I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
