im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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