ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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