I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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