Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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