i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
