By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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