i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize