Too much gin, very little bucket
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
