Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
even my farts smell like vagina
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
