did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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