When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
