how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
