dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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