i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize