If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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